Feet Don't Fail Me Now

This post may not be for the faint of heart or for anyone who doesn't enjoy torturing themselves with gross pics of post-op feet. Yes, this is my foot and now I'll never be a foot model. Not that I ever wanted to, but at least that was an option, whereas now, my career has ended before it began...haha!

For those of you who have never seen my "Flinstone" feet, I'll let you in on a little secret. Only one word can describe my feet...and it's a four letter one...UGLY. You thought I would say something else!

Anyway, I've had a very painful bunion for some time now (over a yr) and chose to ignore the pain. I just bought some really ugly shoes, so I could be on my feet all day. Recently, I've started to work out and that's when I couldn't ignore the pain any longer. So, I made an appointment with Dr. Werber in Scottsdale, AZ (love him) and he told me it was more than a bunion and then launches into a very medical explanation, but the long and short of it is the bunion was shaved off, the bones repaired, and a pin put in. At my next appointment, I'm going to ask for more details.

It hurts, but the worst part is not being able to drive or get around. I wear a very attractive heel boot that I'm hoping Belle will bejewel for me, but it's not comfortable and the swelling at the end of the day makes me want to sit on the couch all day with ice on my foot. It's getting better day by day and they've given me some good pain meds.

Just as an FYI: daytime TV is horrible, so I've become addicted to etsy.com. Is it possible to spend all day on the computer, why yes, it is!

My Favorite Time of Night

During our recent stay in Kingman, AZ, I had some trouble sleeping, but as you can see the rest of my "punks" did not! Sometimes, I suffer from a little insomnia and when I do I go from room to room checking on everyone and watching them sleep. The day will come soon that they won't sleep in our house every night and I won't get to watch them a peace and think about how lucky and blessed I am. Some nights I get up several times to check on them, especially when they were babies.

I was appalled to find out that one of my best friends on the planet, and possibly could be the best mom ever, did not check on her kids before she went to bed. After making her feel insufficient and sufficiently guilty, she assures me that she checks on them every night and admits that's one of her fav things to do, as well.

Don't tell the kiddos, but sometimes I lay down with them and hold them as tight as possible because each day is one more moment I can't get back of their childhood, plus they are super quiet and that's always a bonus when I'm trying to love on t hem (hahaha).

So here is a snapshot of my favorite time of night:





If you don't already look in on your family at night, try it. You never know, it might become a habit!

Sorry?

Recently, our 3 usually well behaved children landed themselves in some serious hot water with their dad and I. So, we did what all good parents do, we lectured them. We told them how disappointed we were in them, how we expected more, and that we couldn't trust them (they had been fighting and not listening ALL day). We then retreated to the bathroom where we stayed for a few minutes, so they could "think" about what they had done. (Since we were in a hotel in Kingman, AZ the bathroom was the only place we could go and lock the door).

While we were locked in the bathroom, the children took it upon themselves to use dad's ipad to apologize to us, so they opened the awesome program that allows you to write and draw in different colors. As you can see, they saw the error of their ways, repented, and felt sufficiently guilty given their awful behavior.

I would like to point out that instead of writing a note and slipping it under the door, like we did in the "olden" days, they took the newest piece of technology in the room and created a new way to apologize. Just another use for the ipad and the next time I need to apologize to my hubby you better believe I'm going to use the ipad. And yes, we did forgive the kiddos...how could we possibly stay mad at such a creative group of children?

Our Prayer Tonight

Did I mention my son was funny? I know, this will be 2 posts about him, but what can I say, the kid has material. So, Belle, Charlie, and I were in my bed (which is where they have been sleeping for the last 6 weeks while hubs has been gone)...don't ask...anyway, we were snuggled in bed saying our nighttime prayers and it's Charlie's turn. Earlier in the day at school he had fallen off the monkey bars at school (right on his cute little bum) and complained a little off and on about it when he got home. Back to the prayer:

"Dear Heavenly Father,
Please protect Daddy in Kingman.
Please make Mae better and help her to be able to play again,
and please help my butt to stop hurting.
In Jesus' name,
Amen".

Hysterical laughter coming for Belle's side of the bed and all I could think to say is "did you just say butt in a prayer to God?" We don't use the word butt in our house (notice it's four letters). I may use it, but the kiddos aren't supposed to...so, Charlie closes his eyes quickly and says:

"God, I meant to say bottom...will you please help my bottom stop hurting".

As Belle continues to giggle, I can't help but join her because my funny son managed to say "butt" as he was talking to our Father in Heaven. I could almost hear His chuckle, as well.

Kids say the darndest things, don't they?

Meet the Teacher

My son in funny! I've never met a kid quite like him. Last year, when we started a new school he gave some advice on making new friends and we used his wise words again this year. He told them, "Just make them laugh. That's how I make friends."
Who doesn't want to be friends with a funny person?

So, this year he started 1st grade in yet another new school. We went to Meet the Teacher day and things went so well. We met Belle's teacher, bought our spirit shirts, and last but not least met Charlie's teacher. And this is how the conversation went:

C: Hi, how long have you been teaching?
T: Long enough to know how. Probably longer than your mom's been alive. Well, maybe not that long.
C: Would you say like 25 years? (He's like grilling her now).
T: Almost 25 years. So long that I go to the district and teach other teachers. But 1st grade is my favorite! (All smiles. She thinks she's satisfied him)
C: So, you're like a professional teacher then?
And to this she looks over at me smiling like "it's going to be quite a year" to which I reply out loud, "he's all yours!"

So, I'm wishing Ms. O'neill a lot of luck with this little boy because he's going to keep her on her toes! I then told her not to believe everything she hears about me to which she says you too!

Back to School

It's that time of year again where our little ones and big ones head off early in the morning, spend their days with teachers and friends, and return home tired and hungry. Last year I was sad and felt empty when the kiddos went back to school. This year was quite different and what a relief.

I felt a little guilty doing the "happy dance" before the bus even pulled away from the curb, but it didn't stop me from celebrating just a little. My poor neighbor was sending her 4th child to kindergarten and cried as we walked back to our houses. I felt for her, but was relieved to find out that my sister-in-laws did their own happy dances as their children left for school.

School has been in for 4 official days and I have become so much more productive around the house. Tomorrow I'm headed to a nearby gym (gasp) to sign up for a membership, so I can start working out and return my body to its post-baby state...ok, maybe that's a dream, but I would like shrink the size of my butt! I can actually do some things for myself this year and feel a little guilty about that, but my mother-in-law says give it 2 months and the guilt will be gone.

I am also happy to report that all 3 children have had positive experiences in their new schools and seem to be making friends and adjusting well. After our first day jitters, things started running smoothly, including going to bed at a decent hour. Although no one likes getting up at 6:30 (including me, especially me).




WOW! Where does the time go? It was only yesterday...and now they are in the 3rd and 1st grade.








Two words: seventh grade! One important rule: NO boys! A mom can hope, can't she?

A Proper Good-bye

So much has happened in the last 2 months that I don't know exactly where to begin, but the one thing I haven't done is say good-bye to TX.

We moved, again and for hubby's sake I hope for the last time. Currently, we are settling into our new home in Mesa, AZ still surrounded by boxes and with a ton of work to do (but what's new).

Although our time in Katy, TX was short (a year almost to the day), we made some incredible memories and more importantly some lifelong friends. We will miss our old and new friends that we made in TX dearly and want to thank them for the great memories and their love and support of our family.

In TX, our children attended public school for the first time and other than a bus incident, it was a positive experience and not as scary as they thought it would be. I found a job that I loved (haven't worked in a VERY long time). I worked with some great kids and co-workers (some of which will be lifetime friends). Hubby got some amazing training at the leading cancer hospital in the world and did cutting edge procedures that will help all his future patients (can you tell I'm proud of him?). These are just a few things TX offered us and as we move away I can honestly say all 5 of us are better people and a closer family for having been there.

So, GOOD-BYE to the great state of Texas. We enjoyed our time with you and now we are opening a new chapter of our life in Arizona where I also expect amazing things! We love blue bonnets "deep in the heart of TX" and will take the "yellow rose of TX" with us.

Why we Talk.

We all know women and men are different in more ways than one. I am convinced that God has a very good sense of humor based on how different we are when it comes to communicating.

Recently, we took a very LONG road trip from Houston, TX to Birmingham, AL to visit family and friends (that's another blog). While we were there, we met many of our friends for lunch and a movie. Belle had her friends there (8 yr olds) and Annie had her friends (12 yr olds) and I had my friends (no one needs to know our ages). Oh, Charlie, my husband, and my dad were very good sports about coming along.

At lunch my brilliant husband and father made an observation about girls and women. First they observed Annie's group who were all talking at one time and trying to talk over each other. This is when my hubby turns to Papa and says girls talk to make connections and build relationships (duh) and guys, well they don't have to talk and when they do it is to convey information. According to my dad guys can sit at lunch with each other and not say anything for 20 minutes and it doesn't mean anything is wrong or someone is mad at someone else.

To prove their theory my dad sits down at the "mom table" and discovers we are doing the same thing. Chatting about nothing in particular, having side conversations, and everyone was talking at the same time. Of course, he shares his theory and we all look at him like "what is your point". Listen guys we've known this about ourselves since the beginning of time.

I also have a theory that piggy backs on their theory. Women also build stronger relationships withe each other because we talk ALL the time. Guys should be a fly on the wall during GNO. Wow, wouldn't they get an education on women and how we communicate.

With this being said, I am blessed, as are my girls to have the women/girls in our lives that we can pick right back up with after 6 months of absence and never miss a beat. So, because I don't say it enough "thank you to my women friends who make me a better woman and thank you for raising daughters who make my girls better people". I always loved being a girl and this is one of the major reasons why. I don't want to sit at lunch and not say anything for 20 minutes because this would mean I was mad or something was wrong ;)

"Little" girls talking

"Big" girls talking

Fruit Snacking

The other day I was starving and had a ton of things on my to-do list, so as I look around the car for a cracker box or some bag of stale pretzels, it's clean. The car is clean. There is nothing to eat on the floor. I even resorted to looking in the way back for something. Usually there's enough food on the floor to feed a small tribe in Africa.

And then I spy my purse on the seat and am confident there is a snack to be had or maybe even some gum I could chew.

As I'm rummaging around the bottom of my purse, there's some fruit snacks in the bottom of the purse. I have no idea how old they are or where they came from, but my hunger got the better of me and yes, I ate them.

I was so desperate for something to eat, I ate fruit snacks out of the bottom of my purse. And I know that I'm not the only person who has done this. Am I?

Easter 2010

Easter is one of my favorite holidays (Thanksgiving is my all time favorite). You thought I would say Christmas, didn't you? I love everything about Easter, from the new clothes, to the egg hunts and candy, but most importantly the reason we celebrate.

Our Lord and Savior died for us and we use that time to remember and praise his Holy name. The music on Sunday morning is celebratory and inspiring. The message is one of hope and mercy. And while we celebrate Christ's sacrifice and love for us every Sunday, Easter is an amazing, powerful day in the lives of Christians.

So our family remembered the undeserving sacrifice made by the Lamb of God by celebrating at church, having a quiet lunch, and being together all day!

I missed my parents, and aunt and uncle, and sweet cousins since we've had Easter dinner with them for the last few years, but it was great to be home and be a family!

My Crazy monkeys

Our "angels"

Annie Turns 12

Annemarie Campbell Pico "Annie" was born on April 2, 1998 at 6:39 pm after 60 hours of labor. Yes, that would be almost 3 days worth of labor. My labor ended with a c-section and that was the moment our life changed forever.

She was one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen. She took my breath away. Nurses would come by our room to look at the baby that everyone was talking about.

Those first few days were rough (understatement). We were young parents and boy, could you tell. I'm surprised Annie survived our folly! They handed her to Cam for the first time and he looked at me and said, "what do I do with her?" looking like he was afraid she would break. We found out quickly she wasn't as fragile as we thought.

I think she cried the ENTIRE first year of her life and wouldn't sleep unless she was laying on her dad or I. How could we let our precious angel cry it out (yes, that was dumb and naive)? Being the first grandchild on both sides, she was well loved, spoiled, and was pretty sure the world revolved around her. Didn't it? Everything she did was amazing and brilliant and as her mom, I have been so proud of her since the very first moments of her life.

She continues to make us proud, so we've come up with a top ten list of reasons we love Annie (in no particular order).

1. She loves her family and watches out for her brother and sister.
2. She has a most tender heart.
3. She is disciplined and that is exemplified in all aspects of her life, including her obedience to her Father in Heaven and her parents.
4. She has a very strong sense of right and wrong.
5. She has a sophisticated sense of humor and cracks us up daily.
6. She loves animals.
7. Annie has a flair for drama (something she comes by honestly)
8. She has a growing Christ-like spirit and loves her Lord.
9. Her imagination (one of her cousins says she loves playing with Annie because she makes up the most creative and fun games).
10. There is NO one like her!

As she turns 12, we realize her time as a little girl is coming to an end. Our journey as parents started with her and we have learned SO many lessons from our "bugface. So, thank you, Annie for being one of the most incredible people I have ever met. I am so proud to be your mother and sometimes feel as if I fall short, but you are always there to remind me that you are one of my best achievements.

I look forward to our continued journey together and can't wait to see what wonderful things you will accomplish in life. Keep the Lord at the center of your life and never forget mommy and daddy adore you and support you!

Our little family.

She loves her daddy and he always makes time to make her feel special. She is just like him, which is a good thing, since I love them both.

A passion that comes from the Pico side of the family. Annie has played club soccer for the last 2 years and enjoys it just like she enjoys everything else she does (except piano)!

This is a love we both share. We have such a great time riding together. It keeps us connected, so we plan on doing it for a very long time!

We love you as a daughter, sister, friend, follower in Christ, and an overall fabulous person.

Charlie's 6th Birthday Party

MOM'S 1ST LEGO CAKE
Thanks to other mom's blogs

IS THIS THE BIRTHDAY BOY
OR THE BIRTHDAY MONKEY?

WE GUESSED HOW MANY LEGOS WERE IN THE JAR
AND THE BOYS TOOK HOME SOME GOOD LOOT!

THEY TOOK THEIR LEGO "BUILDING" VERY SERIOUSLY

BEFORE

AFTER

Yes, it is April. Yes, his birthday is in February. Better late than never! We had a blast and I enjoyed this all boy party (our first). I think the birthday boy enjoyed himself, as well.

This Week

WOW! This week has been a week from H-E-L-L. Let me give the top 10 reasons this week makes the "I Definitely Need a Do-Over" list.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. I've had a monster headache for the last 2 days.
2 I started my period, hence the monster headache.
3. I've fought with my husband and been impatient with my kids (see #1 and #2)
4. I'm having a hard time sleeping.
5. I've had to work with the 7th graders.
6. I can't go to Target for the next couple of weeks because we had to pay some unexpected bills.
7. Our neighbors (I don't need to say anymore about that)
8. We have to find homes for our cats (any takers?)
9. I found out my hubby can't take terminal leave, which means I have to be in charge of the move to AZ.
10. And last, but certainly not least, I haven't lost any weight in over 2 weeks (poo).

I understand that people have way worse problems than these and would be willing to trade places with me in a hearbeat. I don't need a lecture about that. Yes, it sounds petty, especially #10, but I don't care. It's my blog and I'll write what I want. I've tried to be grateful for the little things this week, but that's not working out.

So, thankfully we start a new week in a few days and hopefully I can have a renewed attitude or at least not want to kill everyone around me.

TGIF!

Nature Mimics Life

He's my pigeon...

The other morning I was sitting on a patio in Arizona drinking my coffee watching two pigeons on a wall. Suddenly, I realized those pigeons are Cam and I, which made me giggle...

There are certain things hubs is not fond of doing. One of them being moving furniture. Every time we move furniture together, we fight...well, to be more accurate, he moves furniture around the room while I give orders, trying every position in the room. I'm not very good at visualizing, so I have to see the furniture in its place.

He HATES moving furniture and whenever I suggest it, he runs and hides. By the way, it's the cheapest way to redecorate your house. While he is moving furniture around the room, I remind him of that and point to the fact that I am not buying new furniture like I wanted to!

Enters the pigeon couple...
those two pigeons on the wall were definitely a couple (one was bigger than the other. That's how I know). I watched the larger pigeon (let's call it the husband) hop from the wife (smaller one) to a place near a branch with a twig in his mouth several times...can you see where this leading?

She is sitting in one place watching her partner hop around with this twig in his mouth as if he is moving furniture. I can hear him saying, "do you like it here" and her responding "no, let's try it over there". He'd hop back to her with the twig in his mouth and then hop away to a nearby branch and back again. He must have done this a dozen times before he dropped the twig and flew off leaving the "wife" pigeon wondering what happened...

I was cracking up because those two pigeons reminded me of our situation every time I ask Cam to move furniture...he "hops" around the room while I make suggestions eventually leaving me alone in the room exactly the way it was before we started our project. Those were Cam and I's equivalent in the pigeon world.

Of course, I tell Cam about our pigeon "family", which sends him into hysterics because he knows exactly what I'm talking about. Later that day, we were back on the patio watching those same pigeons quiet and "sleeping" next to each other on that same place on the wall. They had made up just like we do every time we move furniture, especially if I can put something on an angle...

Thank you to that pigeon couple for showing me that all species have their "furniture" moving moments...

The Houston Rodeo and the Jonas Bros concert

What a Fun Family Day...
We spent a amazing day recently at the Houston Rodeo (largest in the world) where we had tickets to the Jonas Brothers' concert. I think hubs has recovered from all the screaming going on in Reliant Stadium (sold out).



We started the day with food and carnival rides. I think we scarred Son for life taking him on a roller coaster that was a little scary and fast (he's never been on a roller coaster in his life) What great parents we are...just throwing him in the deep end.



Funnel cakes were a favorite and so was the bull riding. I'm even considering taking barrel racing lessons in the future and no, I'm not too old. And I have to admit I did a little screaming for the Jonas Brothers myself (Love Bug is one of my favs).





This might have been one of the best days our family has spent together. Belle kept saying "thank you" over and over. On more than one occasion, she screamed out "this is THE best day ever". Cam and I felt like kids again going on all the scary rides together.


I look forward to all the fun we will continue to have as a family and feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have such great kids and a hubs that is SO much fun to live with!

A Phone Call

My mom and I are very close. We talk almost every morning on my way to work. Growing up she was my mom, now she is one of my closest friends. We love to shop together and can be out all day and not even realize time has passed. My dad keeps trying to convince us shopping is not a hobby or a sport. The way my mom and I do it, it is. We talk while we shop and sometimes we have our best talks looking for a great pair of shoes (on sale, of course). I love her tons and can't imagine losing her.

Last night, I got a phone call pretty late from my dad. This alarmed me even before he said "hello" because my parents never call that late as they have usually gone to bed. He told me she was in the ER, couldn't breath, blood pressure was sky high, and was in a lot of pain. His voice was shaky and I knew he was concerned. The very worst thing about the situation is that I was in TX and they were in an ER in AL. All I wanted to do was be with her, no matter what the problem was.

I started thinking about how much I depend on her and how I would never be ready for anything bad to happen to either one of my parents. Being an only child makes us a very tight knit threesome. Sometimes a little too close, but that's another blog. The good news is my mom is fine. She was diagnosed with plurisy (an inflammation/infection of the chest wall lining). She was treated in the ER and sent home, but for a few moments I was looking at plane tickets to see how soon I could be in AL.

I talked to her this morning and she is still in pain, but we are all grateful it wasn't something life threatening. I prayed without ceasing until my dad called with the diagnosis and I knew she wasn't in grave danger. And because I don't tell her nearly enough, thank you mom for loving me and being my biggest fan. I love you, Mom!

A Girl and Her Dad

I am self-proclaimed daddy's girl. When I was growing up, my dad was always there and although I am a parent now, he's still always there. Don't get me wrong, my mom is great too, but I'll save her for the next post.

My dad was at every practice, every game, every riding lesson. He went on every field trip and chaperoned every church camp the youth group went on. Now, that I'm a parent of a tween I understand the need to be with her as much as possible.

My dad is an amazing guy who will stop at nothing to protect his family. He loves his grandkids and his son-in-law, which makes my life so much sweeter.

I used to think he was perfect. My dad could do no wrong in my eyes. Of course, as I got older I realized he wasn't perfect, but he did an excellent job as a parent. I followed him around the house "helping" with projects just to be near him. Anyone who knows my dad knows he's got a great sense of humor and is very loud and outgoing. He yells a lot, but even when he was yelling I never doubted how much he loved me!

So, today and everyday, I am thankful for Tom Hoffman and even at 34 I'm a daddy's girl. Sometimes I don't tell him enough how much I love him and my mom, so I love you, Dad and I miss living close by, but you're always with me no matter where I am because a daughter's love spans time and miles.

We Don't Do This Enough

Back in November, my hubby and I took a trip to Denver, CO. It was a business/vacation trip and we had a blast. Sometimes, I forget how much fun we have together when everyday life consumes us. Not only did we get to spend time together, but we had an opportunity to see several great friends from the past.

It snowed and I couldn't have been happier. I LOVE snow. I probably love it because I don't have to live in it, but nevertheless I love it. Denver is one of the prettiest states I've ever been to and it's even more striking with snow on everything. The snow gave us a chance to act like kids. There were snowballs to be thrown and angels to be made. And we laughed!

One of the many things I love about my hubby is that we can be silly and ridiculous with each other. He laughs at my jokes and I appreciate his sense of humor. And trips like this one are important for us as a married couple to remind us of the incredible relationship we have. Plus, I love staying in hotels!

In closing, we need to take more trips like this one. Our children were at home with my mother-in-law enjoying McDonalds for every meal, so while we may have talked about the kids once or twice, it was about us and I didn't feel guilty for one second for being away. We talked to them everyday and of course, they were too busy to stay on the phone (a good thing).


And now that the kids are older, we plan on doing this more often because afterall, it's going to be the two of us before long. So, my advice to every married couple: go on vacation and trips with your spouse because it's important to remember who you are as a couple! And I love being the other half of this twosome.

A few thoughts on Valentine's Day

I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's day, except maybe in elementary school when I had to reveal a crush or a few crushes through the cards that I would put in decorated shoe boxes of my classmates.

I think it's lovely to tell people how we feel about them, how much we love them, or how much they mean to us. However, I don't think it's necessary to have one day set aside to express those emotions.

Expectations are high and when my Valentine's day doesn't closely resemble the scenario set up in those stupid Kay Jewelry commercials, I feel cheated and disappointed. Of course, I'm not sure I wouldn't burst out laughing if my husband used some of those corny lines in such commercials (nothing against Kay Jewelers).

Perhaps, it was the Valentine's day the year after we were married that made me a bitter cynic. My husband whom I love and adore, forgot Valentine's day that year. How can you forget a holiday that is vomited all over every store, including the grocery stores and gas stations? I wonder that same thing! He has since redeemed himself, but I still am not convinced that this is a made up holiday that the card companies had to invent to boost sales after Christmas. Food for thought!

Despite the rant and the hype, I will take a moment to say I love "love" and I am a romantic at heart. And I wish my hubby did not need an excuse like February 14 to bring me flowers. He does other nice things for me all year long like wash my car when it is filthy, run to the store on his way home, and spend countless hours thinking of how much he loves me (oh, wait, that's the commercial talking again).

I love my family and my friends and tell them so quite often, like when I get off the phone with them. There is never a phone call with my children, hubby, parents, bestie, etc that I don't end it with "I love you". I know it makes some people uncomfortable to say it back, but in a world of impatience, self-centeredness, and hurt the people that I love need to hear it and I need to say it.

In closing, I LOVE YOU on Valentine's day and every other day of the year!

Happy Birthday, Son!

Our baby is 6 years old today and I have loved every single moment of his wonderful life. He was our "surprise" and I know the very moment he was conceived :) We were always planning to have a 3rd baby, but maybe not so close to when daddy was taking his first set of medical boards (whoops) and when his big sister was only 15 months old, and when I had just claimed my body as my own after his 15 month old sister decided she would stop nursing.

After the shock and awe, we were so happy our family of 4 was about to become a family of 5, especially since my ob/gyn had told me I would probably never have any more children (that's another blog). Apparently, God's plan trumped my ob's medical diagnosis for He is good! At the beginning of the pregnancy, there was more than once we thought we would lose that little guy and I did my best to keep him exactly where he belonged. And then towards the end of my pregnancy, Charlie thought it was time to meet the family and we prolonged that as long as possible. At almost 6 weeks premature, Tristan Charles Pico came into the world on February 13 at 8:13 PM weighing in at 7 pounds and 20 inches. Yes, this was a premature baby.

They delivered that little guy by c-section and as I listened for his cry, I knew something was wrong when he finally did cry. The NICU team at Brookwood Hospital in Birmingham, AL were there to take over. They gave me a quick look at my son, but had to take him because he was having trouble breathing on his own. Daddy was torn, but with my blessing he rushed off to the NICU with our baby leaving me alone, scared and wondering what was happening just 2 floors down. 45 minutes later, I was still alone in recovery begging the nurse to call and check on my son. If my legs hadn't still been numb from epidural, I would have gotten up out of that hospital bed and found him!

Finally, daddy walked in followed by the NICU doctor both men looking somber. I remember Dr. DiCarlo standing at the foot of my bed with his hand holding my foot explaining to me that our son was having trouble breathing on his own and it looked like his lungs were wet. They were helping him breathe and were already giving him IV medications. "Will he be ok?" was my only question and his answer was we are doing everything we can and the next 24 hours will be important. I cried as the doctor left the room and my husband folded me into his arm. He held me as I cried and cried thinking this was all my fault. I was his mother and I had let him down. I thought about what I could have done differently and the answer was nothing.



I wanted to see him. I had to get to him and the nurse tells me "not tonight". WHAT???? You do not tell a mother who has waited months and months to meet her child "no", so my hubby fixed it. Being in the medical profession sometimes has its perks and this was one of those times. He got permission for me and my hospital bed to be wheeled down to the NICU and I could visit Charlie for a few minutes. I couldn't hold him and all I could really do was touch his little hand. I fell in love at that moment and we fought together. He made it through that night, but not without some difficulty and as I visited him the next day, they had place a second IV in his head and was still "hooked up", so I couldn't hold him. I did not hold that baby for 2 days and when I finally got him in my arms, he was home. I couldn't hold him too long and I still hadn't been able to nurse him, which is something I actually looked forward to with all my babies. And when the nurses tried to bottle feed him, he would stop breathing and turn blue. Again, not something a mother is prepared to watch her child go through.




When I was discharged on day 4, I didn't go home with a baby. I went home with a double breast pump, a tired husband, and no baby. I got up every 3 hours throughout the night to pump, which I would deliver to the hospital the next morning at 7:00 am (after the docs rounded), so the nurses could feed him in the wee hours of the night/morning. During the day, I would make the trip to the hospital to nurse him myself every 3 hours. I only did this thanks to a mother-in-law and one of my very best friends who happened to be my neighbor who drove me to the hospital to hold/feed my baby. And daddy would take a pumped bottle to the hospital for his last feeding at 10:00 pm and spend some quality father/son time together.


On day 10, Charlie came home to 2 very excited sisters, one very thankful mom, 2 helpful grandparents, and one very relieved daddy! After the girls held him and I knew Grandma would be holding him for the next 2 hours, I slept such a peaceful sleep because God had answered many prayers and brought our son home healthy (he had a few issues, but nothing we couldn't handle).

And that is how Tristan Charles Pico made our family of 4 a family of 5, a very blessed family of 5. He is an amazing, funny, bright, loving little boy who keeps all of us guessing what will come next. It is never a dull moment and I am still thankful for day 10 when Charlie made our family whole. God blessed us with a happy ending, or maybe I should call it a beginning. He watched over our family in its greatest time of need and in what sometimes felt like my darkest hour. So, today I have a healthy boy who is turning 6 and we would like to wish him the Happiest Birthday and say, "We love you, son"!

PS: Isn't it ironic that Cam's mom used to call her little brother "son" and from almost day 1 our little Isabelle called Charlie "son"? It must be genetic, but that nickname has definitely stuck and seems very fitting to the only boy in a house of girls! Lucky Son, is all I have to say :)

Son's 1st Birthday!

Happy 6th Birthday, Son!!!

Moms Can't Get Sick

I thought I was in the clear after my son having the flu and scarlet fever 2 weeks ago and I managed NOT to get it. Boy, was I dreaming. Two days ago, I was freezing at dinner and just not feeling right. I thought it was because we gone to a parade and everyone was sunburned.

Now, I am totally sick with what my "doctor" husband has unofficially diagnosed me with flu. He got me started on Tamiflu yesterday, so I'm hoping I will recover quickly. I'm not really enjoying the headache and the achy joints to go with it. I'm hot, I'm cold! I'm sure I'm a hoot to sleep with right now.

You know what happens to moms when they are sick? They lay in bed thinking of everything that has to be done feeling guilty. An added source of guilt for me now is calling in sick to work. Not only am I thinking about my own children being neglected, but now I'm feeling guilty about neglecting other people's children. I stayed home with Charlie for a week, but now I'm feeling like I have to get back to school, sick or not! My children didn't even have clean socks this morning because I didn't do any laundry this weekend. I put the white clothes in this morning, but I don't have the energy to put them in the dryer. Hopefully, everyone has enough underwear to get them through the next couple of days!

My other hope is that my hubby gets home early, so the kiddos don't have to eat cereal for dinner and that I have a miraculous recovery feeling 100% tomorrow morning when I wake up.

Could it Be? Why, yes it is!

I have decided to a) start blogging again b) take my blog in a new direction c) continue to blog about what touches me or d) all of the above. If you guessed d, all of the above, you are a genius! I'm hoping to attract more people from all over and experience some sort of therapy that can only come from honest, no matter how much it hurts, truth. So, in a nutshell...

I AM BACK!