Tuesday, October 13, 2009
This Makes It All Worth It
My life is not glamorous and there are times I want to hang up my apron (literally) and give my two week notice. But who can retire from the full-time job of being a mom? And I know soon enough my 3 munchkins will no longer need me to tuck them in at night, or drive them to acting classes, or take them to the library, or have lunch with them at school, or help them with school projects, or cook dinner, or pack lunches, or fold laundry. So then what do I do? I am a mom. Oh sure, I do other things like substitute teach and type jobs for my mother-in-law, but I am a mom through and through. And I like what I do, but more importantly it's a calling for me. These 3 precious children have been gifted to me for a short time and I want to spend every single second doing that job the best that I can. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to set all 3 out on the curb and put a "FREE" sign on them, like when Charlie spits at his sister while I'm trying to grocery shop at Wal-Mart. That would be one of those times when ANYONE could have had him!
But when they get home from school, I get to kiss sweaty heads and hear all about their day. I send notes in their lunches to remind them of how much I love them and that I think of them all day long. (Well, maybe not all day!) I get to be there when they laugh and when they cry. As moms we end sleeping in toddler beds like my sister-in-law did the other night. We hold their heads as they throw up and we hold their hands as they need our support. We lend our ears, we lend our support, and sometimes we lend our punishment.
I was afraid when I was pregnant with Isabelle that I wouldn't be able to love another baby as much as I loved Annie. I was really afraid and I convinced myself I could fake it if I needed to. Being an only, I didn't realize there was more than enough love and a mother's heart expands as much as it needs to to love each child. And boy did I love that little bundle. From the moment I laid my eyes on her, I loved her as much as I had loved Annie. Like Dr. Suess says about the Grinch, my heart grew 2 sizes that day. Of course, a mom has enough love for every child because that's what we do. We love!
My husband and I just went to his brother's wedding and as we drove from the church to the reception, holding hands in a silent car (the grandparents had our kids) I could feel my heart growing. I looked at him and realized I loved him more on that day than I had almost 13 years earlier on our own wedding day. And he was actually thinking the same thing and believe it or not, he said it out loud before I did, and he had one happy wife! (By the way, the wedding is where the pictures for this blog came from).
So what am I trying to say? I am trying to say that it is worth it! All the sacrifice is totally worth it. My road has been blessed and I am proud to be called mom and wife most of the time. Sometimes when people use my name or call me "Mrs. Pico", I look around for that person. I know she's in there, but I sure do enjoy being called "mom"! (I could do without all the laundry, though)