Monday, February 22, 2010

We Don't Do This Enough

Back in November, my hubby and I took a trip to Denver, CO. It was a business/vacation trip and we had a blast. Sometimes, I forget how much fun we have together when everyday life consumes us. Not only did we get to spend time together, but we had an opportunity to see several great friends from the past.

It snowed and I couldn't have been happier. I LOVE snow. I probably love it because I don't have to live in it, but nevertheless I love it. Denver is one of the prettiest states I've ever been to and it's even more striking with snow on everything. The snow gave us a chance to act like kids. There were snowballs to be thrown and angels to be made. And we laughed!

One of the many things I love about my hubby is that we can be silly and ridiculous with each other. He laughs at my jokes and I appreciate his sense of humor. And trips like this one are important for us as a married couple to remind us of the incredible relationship we have. Plus, I love staying in hotels!

In closing, we need to take more trips like this one. Our children were at home with my mother-in-law enjoying McDonalds for every meal, so while we may have talked about the kids once or twice, it was about us and I didn't feel guilty for one second for being away. We talked to them everyday and of course, they were too busy to stay on the phone (a good thing).

And now that the kids are older, we plan on doing this more often because afterall, it's going to be the two of us before long. So, my advice to every married couple: go on vacation and trips with your spouse because it's important to remember who you are as a couple! And I love being the other half of this twosome.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A few thoughts on Valentine's Day

I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's day, except maybe in elementary school when I had to reveal a crush or a few crushes through the cards that I would put in decorated shoe boxes of my classmates.

I think it's lovely to tell people how we feel about them, how much we love them, or how much they mean to us. However, I don't think it's necessary to have one day set aside to express those emotions.

Expectations are high and when my Valentine's day doesn't closely resemble the scenario set up in those stupid Kay Jewelry commercials, I feel cheated and disappointed. Of course, I'm not sure I wouldn't burst out laughing if my husband used some of those corny lines in such commercials (nothing against Kay Jewelers).

Perhaps, it was the Valentine's day the year after we were married that made me a bitter cynic. My husband whom I love and adore, forgot Valentine's day that year. How can you forget a holiday that is vomited all over every store, including the grocery stores and gas stations? I wonder that same thing! He has since redeemed himself, but I still am not convinced that this is a made up holiday that the card companies had to invent to boost sales after Christmas. Food for thought!

Despite the rant and the hype, I will take a moment to say I love "love" and I am a romantic at heart. And I wish my hubby did not need an excuse like February 14 to bring me flowers. He does other nice things for me all year long like wash my car when it is filthy, run to the store on his way home, and spend countless hours thinking of how much he loves me (oh, wait, that's the commercial talking again).

I love my family and my friends and tell them so quite often, like when I get off the phone with them. There is never a phone call with my children, hubby, parents, bestie, etc that I don't end it with "I love you". I know it makes some people uncomfortable to say it back, but in a world of impatience, self-centeredness, and hurt the people that I love need to hear it and I need to say it.

In closing, I LOVE YOU on Valentine's day and every other day of the year!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy Birthday, Son!

Our baby is 6 years old today and I have loved every single moment of his wonderful life. He was our "surprise" and I know the very moment he was conceived :) We were always planning to have a 3rd baby, but maybe not so close to when daddy was taking his first set of medical boards (whoops) and when his big sister was only 15 months old, and when I had just claimed my body as my own after his 15 month old sister decided she would stop nursing.

After the shock and awe, we were so happy our family of 4 was about to become a family of 5, especially since my ob/gyn had told me I would probably never have any more children (that's another blog). Apparently, God's plan trumped my ob's medical diagnosis for He is good! At the beginning of the pregnancy, there was more than once we thought we would lose that little guy and I did my best to keep him exactly where he belonged. And then towards the end of my pregnancy, Charlie thought it was time to meet the family and we prolonged that as long as possible. At almost 6 weeks premature, Tristan Charles Pico came into the world on February 13 at 8:13 PM weighing in at 7 pounds and 20 inches. Yes, this was a premature baby.

They delivered that little guy by c-section and as I listened for his cry, I knew something was wrong when he finally did cry. The NICU team at Brookwood Hospital in Birmingham, AL were there to take over. They gave me a quick look at my son, but had to take him because he was having trouble breathing on his own. Daddy was torn, but with my blessing he rushed off to the NICU with our baby leaving me alone, scared and wondering what was happening just 2 floors down. 45 minutes later, I was still alone in recovery begging the nurse to call and check on my son. If my legs hadn't still been numb from epidural, I would have gotten up out of that hospital bed and found him!

Finally, daddy walked in followed by the NICU doctor both men looking somber. I remember Dr. DiCarlo standing at the foot of my bed with his hand holding my foot explaining to me that our son was having trouble breathing on his own and it looked like his lungs were wet. They were helping him breathe and were already giving him IV medications. "Will he be ok?" was my only question and his answer was we are doing everything we can and the next 24 hours will be important. I cried as the doctor left the room and my husband folded me into his arm. He held me as I cried and cried thinking this was all my fault. I was his mother and I had let him down. I thought about what I could have done differently and the answer was nothing.

I wanted to see him. I had to get to him and the nurse tells me "not tonight". WHAT???? You do not tell a mother who has waited months and months to meet her child "no", so my hubby fixed it. Being in the medical profession sometimes has its perks and this was one of those times. He got permission for me and my hospital bed to be wheeled down to the NICU and I could visit Charlie for a few minutes. I couldn't hold him and all I could really do was touch his little hand. I fell in love at that moment and we fought together. He made it through that night, but not without some difficulty and as I visited him the next day, they had place a second IV in his head and was still "hooked up", so I couldn't hold him. I did not hold that baby for 2 days and when I finally got him in my arms, he was home. I couldn't hold him too long and I still hadn't been able to nurse him, which is something I actually looked forward to with all my babies. And when the nurses tried to bottle feed him, he would stop breathing and turn blue. Again, not something a mother is prepared to watch her child go through.

When I was discharged on day 4, I didn't go home with a baby. I went home with a double breast pump, a tired husband, and no baby. I got up every 3 hours throughout the night to pump, which I would deliver to the hospital the next morning at 7:00 am (after the docs rounded), so the nurses could feed him in the wee hours of the night/morning. During the day, I would make the trip to the hospital to nurse him myself every 3 hours. I only did this thanks to a mother-in-law and one of my very best friends who happened to be my neighbor who drove me to the hospital to hold/feed my baby. And daddy would take a pumped bottle to the hospital for his last feeding at 10:00 pm and spend some quality father/son time together.

On day 10, Charlie came home to 2 very excited sisters, one very thankful mom, 2 helpful grandparents, and one very relieved daddy! After the girls held him and I knew Grandma would be holding him for the next 2 hours, I slept such a peaceful sleep because God had answered many prayers and brought our son home healthy (he had a few issues, but nothing we couldn't handle).

And that is how Tristan Charles Pico made our family of 4 a family of 5, a very blessed family of 5. He is an amazing, funny, bright, loving little boy who keeps all of us guessing what will come next. It is never a dull moment and I am still thankful for day 10 when Charlie made our family whole. God blessed us with a happy ending, or maybe I should call it a beginning. He watched over our family in its greatest time of need and in what sometimes felt like my darkest hour. So, today I have a healthy boy who is turning 6 and we would like to wish him the Happiest Birthday and say, "We love you, son"!

PS: Isn't it ironic that Cam's mom used to call her little brother "son" and from almost day 1 our little Isabelle called Charlie "son"? It must be genetic, but that nickname has definitely stuck and seems very fitting to the only boy in a house of girls! Lucky Son, is all I have to say :)

Son's 1st Birthday!

Happy 6th Birthday, Son!!!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Moms Can't Get Sick

I thought I was in the clear after my son having the flu and scarlet fever 2 weeks ago and I managed NOT to get it. Boy, was I dreaming. Two days ago, I was freezing at dinner and just not feeling right. I thought it was because we gone to a parade and everyone was sunburned.

Now, I am totally sick with what my "doctor" husband has unofficially diagnosed me with flu. He got me started on Tamiflu yesterday, so I'm hoping I will recover quickly. I'm not really enjoying the headache and the achy joints to go with it. I'm hot, I'm cold! I'm sure I'm a hoot to sleep with right now.

You know what happens to moms when they are sick? They lay in bed thinking of everything that has to be done feeling guilty. An added source of guilt for me now is calling in sick to work. Not only am I thinking about my own children being neglected, but now I'm feeling guilty about neglecting other people's children. I stayed home with Charlie for a week, but now I'm feeling like I have to get back to school, sick or not! My children didn't even have clean socks this morning because I didn't do any laundry this weekend. I put the white clothes in this morning, but I don't have the energy to put them in the dryer. Hopefully, everyone has enough underwear to get them through the next couple of days!

My other hope is that my hubby gets home early, so the kiddos don't have to eat cereal for dinner and that I have a miraculous recovery feeling 100% tomorrow morning when I wake up.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Could it Be? Why, yes it is!

I have decided to a) start blogging again b) take my blog in a new direction c) continue to blog about what touches me or d) all of the above. If you guessed d, all of the above, you are a genius! I'm hoping to attract more people from all over and experience some sort of therapy that can only come from honest, no matter how much it hurts, truth. So, in a nutshell...